BDSM Talks: My Kink Background, Dixon Mason, Bondage, This One’s Getting Real and It’s Going to Be Long

I’ve debated for a couple months if I should put this out there. This is not an impulsive choice. I first thought of it in late March or early April, but made myself delay for a while because it seemed a bit out of pocket for me. But as my desires persisted, it has seemed less and less out there. Some things are shifting for me in my life, and it feels like it is time. With my business as Delphine, any time I’ve leaned into my authenticity, it has only brought me more abundance. And, I don’t only mean financially. I’m not thinking of this as a change, but as the next part of my evolution.

What Is This Even About?

It feels strange to say, but I think I was always kinky, even before I knew what kink really was. At first, it was not even kink, it was only bondage. I was literally born loving bondage. I have no idea why. I was thinking about it before I even knew was sex was or that it was sexual. From a metaphysical perspective, maybe it’s attached to a past life, if you believe in that sort of thing. But yes, I was obsessed from an early age.

In college, I sought out some experiences with randoms from FetLife that turned out to be rather disappointing. I absolutely desired bondage experiences. Shortly after college, I found myself getting involved with some less disappointing BDSM players. As I got deeper and deeper into the kink realm, I wanted more. At the time, bondage was an obsession for me. I was always seeking out experiences. It was how I first started to do sex work. I went on Craigslist personals (RIP) and sought out sketchy as fuck people who were looking to pay like $80 to tie someone up.

Dixon Mason is Born and My Start in Sex Work

In spring or summer of 2011, I was on vacation in Vermont. It was perhaps Pride weekend or something like that. I saw a girl leading another girl around on a leash. That’s not even something I am really into, but for some reason it sparked something in me. I needed to go deeper and experience more. As soon as I got home, I applied to model for several of my favorite websites, a collection of BDSM sites under the company umbrella name of Intersec, formerly Insex. My former persona, Dixon Mason, was born.

They replied almost immediately and got me set up to shoot at their legendary (to me) Upstate New York farm location the following month. This was amazing on two levels. First, getting to experience amazing bondage with people I admired was a dream I could never have imagined being realized. Second, the money from this endeavor was life-changing at the time.

Bondage was my impetus to move from New York to the Bay Area. After this first shoot, I quit my job and moved to California to work behind the scenes for Intersec. I was only 24, so it was the perfect time to do something like that. I didn’t have much to my name, and could fit everything I would need to bring in a couple of suitcases.

Over the next four to five years, I got to work closely with people I had admired over the years. I learned a lot. This experience cemented in me the knowledge of and desire for a strong boundary between fantasy and reality. I tested my physical limits. I made some lifelong friends. I learned the foundations of what would become my own practice of domination and bondage as a top.

That’s not to say there weren’t issues. There were for sure. I won’t get into them now, but, I will say now that I am older, I am grateful that I was able to be immersed in such a bondage-centric environment for several years, despite the issues.

How I Went Away From Bondage and Killing Dixon Mason

I stopped working at Intersec in 2015. On the surface, it was due to employment law issues. But really, I think I was burned out from some of the aforementioned other issues that came with working at Intersec. I was turned off from bondage, from kink, and from sex work. While I was still working behind the scenes in the adult industry, I didn’t do sex work for the better part of a year. I killed Dixon and deleted everything associated with her.

My Fantasy Makers Era

After about a year, I wanted to get back into sex work, so I went to interview at a now-defunct fetish house in the East Bay called Fantasy Makers. I briefly wondered if I should resurrect Dixon, but I decided against it. I was afraid that clients would assume they could do the same extreme things with me I had done in porn and I didn’t want that. I wanted to domme. Having only rarely done session work before, I didn’t know just how much control I would have had.

I went under the name Ava DeGaulle, a name I had come up with for myself back in the day as my next sex work name if I ever needed one. It paired a delicate femininity with my love of the French language. At FM, I cut my teeth as a domme, got to practice some bondage, and learned that I absolutely love cuckolding, chastity, and humiliation roleplay as a domme. Again, there were some issues here, but I made some great friends and learned a lot about session work that was very important for me when I eventually went independent and even more so when I became an escort.

Becoming Delphine

In 2017, I was domming independently and I wanted to see if I could earn more money. I interviewed at a local agency, Amy’s Lair. They didn’t want me to use the same name I was using for domming, for some reason, despite different services being offered. So, Delphine was born. For the first month or so, I just did FBSM, but I wasn’t getting many sessions. So, I decided to try full service. I expected to hate it. But, after my first session, I felt like I had found my calling. I worked at Amy’s until 2018, while simultaneously building my independent business.

When FOSTA SESTA happened in March of 2018, I decided to try doing my own marketing and it really worked for me. That is when being Delphine really “happened” for me. Before that, I was unsure if this path was going to be viable for me. Now, I know, it is for me. As both Ava and Delphine, I found a lot of personal empowerment and self-esteem.

Why Now?

So why am I writing this essay? All of this is really a story about bondage. I somewhat went away from it both professionally and personally. In my personal life, for a few years after working at Intersec, it was even hard to talk about my love for and history with bondage. Reflecting back on it, it’s kind of crazy, as it feels like an essential part of who I am, which is why I am writing this vulnerable post. I think that it felt hard to describe the depth of my experiences to people who have little concept of bondage and/or sex work. It’s also intimidating for some people.

In my professional life as Delphine, I shied away from anything that might portray me as submissive. For the longest time, I even avoided kneeling in photos because that’s a more submissive posture.

It’s Happening…

There was also a long period that I felt uncomfortable in bondage, though I have always enjoyed putting people into bondage. I was doing powerlifting and CrossFit. My body was inflexible and blocky. Being tied up felt uncomfortable. My muscles would cramp easily from being in the same position for too long, and I couldn’t do a lot of the positions. It wasn’t as fun. For many years, I thought that maybe I had developed into solely a top. But, I’m discovering now that was just a phase I had to go through to get to where I am now.

I’ve recently had a fucking lightning strike return for a desire for bondage. It’s akin to what I experienced when I first went to work for Intersec. So, you might see me tied up again here and there somewhere on the internet, which is why I wanted to write this post. It’s not random or out of the blue, and yes, I’m doing great! It’s just part of my evolution. At the same time it’s a continuation, a return, and something I’m growing into.

I also plan to incorporate more bondage into my work as a domme. I’m starting to invest in a collection of heavier bondage gear that I can use with clients and am coming up with a fee structure for bondage-only sessions.

In addition, I’m considering a marriage of these two identities. Delphine has never really had a last name. At first, it was kind of Delphine X. Then, just Delphine. So, how about Delphine Mason? I’m trying it on.

Why has this happened? Well, I think there is only so long you can shut out an important part of yourself before it comes back to scream in your ear.

There is probably a strong correlation to the fact that I started developing a strong and very committed yoga practice in early 2022, with the fact that mid-2022 is when I became more open to the idea of bondage again. My body and mind are more flexible now. I’ve done a lot of maturing and learning over the years.

What I am into has also shifted from back in the day. I am still interested in intense bondage, yes (always), but I am not as much interested in the painful, more tormentful aspects of what I did in years past.

So, it feels kind of vulnerable to share all this. But again, any time I’ve leaned into my authenticity and/or vulnerability, it has yielded great results. I’m crossing my fingers that this is the case here. And, my deepest gratitude for reading this far, if you’ve made it to the end!

What This Means For You

As Delphine, I will still never do anything submissive with a client (sorry, y’all), but I will gladly domme you and put you into bondage. (☺️😇😈) There are several reasons for this.

I don’t want to compromise on the bondage experiences that I want to have. I want what I want. I want to play as a submissive with people who are experienced and skilled, who enjoy the same things that I like, and who have a strong boundary between fantasy and reality. I don’t want to play on the submissive side with people who are inexperienced or whom I do not know well. That could be dangerous for me, or simply not that much fun!

Second, I’m not submissive as a person, at all. I think I am more of a fetishist of bondage and a few other things, which is why I can switch so hard in either direction. When I’m in a submissive role, that feels more temporary and containerized. However, my domme side is very genuine and comes naturally to me both personally and professionally. What I like to do on the “right side of the slash,” as they say, is very specific, and so you may see me doing some things in videos or photos that I would not want to do with a client, but that I enjoy sharing through video and photo.

And, rest assured, I enjoy my life as Delphine immensely. My desire for more vanilla intimacy with my dear clients is not dulled by my love of/return to bondage…it’s always been there!