BDSM Talks: Why I Do Not Do Raceplay in My Cuckolding or Kink Sessions
Those who have followed my kinkier side know that cuckolding is one of my favorite fetishes (after bondage of course!). Cuckolding was perhaps first described in Geoffrey Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales.
I’m sure we all remember the awkward moment in high school English class when the teacher had to tell us what it meant. For those who missed out on that experience, it’s a fetish that involves a woman fucking a guy who is not her boyfriend or husband, and rubbing it in her boyfriend’s or husband’s face.
Cuckolding fantasies can run from fun and flirtatious to dark and extreme. They range from taking your girlfriend out to a bar and watching her flirt with another man to your wife locking you in chastity and making you sleep nude in a dog crate at night while she shares your marital bed with a better man than you.
There are many potential aspects to cuckolding:
- All types of humiliation:
- Small penis humiliation
- General loser humiliation
- Premature ejaculation humiliation
- General degradation
- Forced or coerced bi
- Cum eating
- Orgasm control/denial
- Chastity
- Sissification/cross dressing and other gender-based humiliation
- Service submission
- Financial domination
- Bondage
- The list goes on and on
Don’t have a wife or a girlfriend? Don’t worry, you can still have fun with cuckolding.
And, it’s not always men who are the submissive in this situation. A cuckqueen is a woman who is a cuckold. Like to watch your gal get fucked but not into the humiliation? Look into the hot wifing fetish instead. I digress.
The thing that makes it cuckolding is that the “bull” or “other man” is superior to the cuck. Often, it’s that the “bull” has a bigger cock. But, it can also be that he is bigger, stronger, smarter, wealthier, and/or overall more worthy.
There are tons of porn videos out there playing on this kink. There are so many that a certain culture has built up around the fetish. I’ve found that, similar to calling a dominant woman “mistress,” people can pick up on these trends without examining them or thinking about whether it even feels good for them.
A recurring theme in cuckolding porn involves race play. My personal position is that as a white person, I shouldn’t profit from raceplay of any kind. Many white cuckolding subs love the idea that the bull is a Black man or has a “BBC.” And no, I’m not talking about the British Broadcasting Corporation. Some people believe that a bull being Black is a “positive” stereotype. So they feel it is not raceplay or enacting white supremacy. However, when I look into it further, I find it quite problematic.
Some people believe the Black man as a “bull” goes back to racist stereotypes born in the slavery era of the United States. Black men were objectified as overly sexual and primal. There is also often a fantasy of the white woman of the couple being degraded, ruined, or somehow corrupted by the “bull.” The connection from that to fetishizing Black men as a hypermasculine “bull” who will swoop in, fuck your woman, and steal her from you is clear to me.
I’ve also had some requests for other types of raceplay within or outside of cuckolding. Examples include people who want to be humiliated for their religion or their racial background, and people who are not white who want to be told that being white is superior. These are also forms of raceplay that I do not do at all.
While this is not something I engage with at all, part of what makes kink so powerful is its ability to take taboo topics and turn shame into empowerment. People can and will eroticize their life experiences in whatever ways they want, regardless of how I interact with it. And, it’s certainly not for me to say how people of color engage with raceplay. However, in my opinion, people who are not Black and especially white people need to be incredibly intentional with how they engage with these topics during cuckolding play, if they choose to do so at all.
