To Raise Or Not Raise Rates (Or: A Glimpse Into How the Sausage is Made)
RATES. Let’s talk about them. I’ll be honest. As much as this blog is for the clients, sweethearts, and generous lovers of my world, there are some posts that I write with my fellow SWers in mind. And this is one of them. I’ve debated whether or not I should give this window into my inner thoughts of this particularly sensitive aspect of this industry, but my desire to share has won.
Econ 101
I personally believe that rates are a simple economic equation. I do not feel they are tied to my self-worth or value as a person in the world. But that’s just me. I’m not trying to tell you how to live your life. I just find that thinking of my rates in that way is not quite logical for me.
Now, that’s not to say that rates don’t have anything to do with who you are or your position in this world. What someone is able to charge in any given market always includes their relationship to privilege. But, even with that, thinking of it as simple economics is more palatable to me than thinking “gosh darn it, I’m worth more *as a person*.”
The Equation: 🥵🫦👠💫🍣x🤑🤑🤑
So what is the equation? The equation is comprised of:
- How much you wanna work
- How much money you wanna make
Don’t wanna be busy? Set a higher rate. Wanna be hella busy? Set a lower rate. Start from there and adjust. If you find you are not getting the volume of business you want, try lowering. If you find you are too busy, try raising. To me, it can be that simple.
But Where Do You Start?
To figure out where to start, look at ad sites and social media. Find people in your area or the cities you want to travel to who are similar to you, and see what they charge, then make your starting point from there. If this is your side hustle and you only want to take 1 client a month, make your starting rate a lot higher than the average. If this is your main gig and you want as many clients as possible, make it a little lower than average to start.
My Rates
Where does my personal relationship with rates fall? I’ve always been a fan of staying regularly booked. Compared to the spectrum of all the SW of the world, $500 or $600 per hour is objectively high-end. However, from a purely scientific perspective, it is on the lower end of “mid-range” for the SF Bay Area.
To be honest, I haven’t raised my rates since March of 2020. Does anyone remember that fateful month? In the pandemic, before vaccines, I upped my rate from $450 to 500 per hour, and I had a 4-hour minimum. During that time, I only saw one client every two weeks and would get tested for COVID in between. We would hang out at one of my incall spaces, order delivery, and enjoy each other’s company. It was a really sweet time, honestly! I felt truly honored that I had a few people who wanted to do that with me during such an intense time.
Once I got vaccinated, I went back to offering hour-long sessions and kept my rate at $500 for the hour. I haven’t changed it much since! I have, however, raised my rates for kink sessions as those involve more physical labor, clean up, and specialized knowledge. And I’ve added fees for couples. But other than that, my rates have stayed the same.
Should I Raise My Rates?
I’ve recently debated raising my rates. I’ve been on the precipice of doing it several times. Several thoughts go into this:
Inflation
According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics Consumer Price Index Calculator, the $500 I receive for each session today will go as far as about $400 did in March of 2020, so it’s worth about 20% less than when I originally upped my rates.
Here’s the rub. I’m generally happy with where I’m at. And, I was pretty happy with where I was at when I charged $400/hour in 2018, and $450 for most of 2019 and early 2020. I live in a beautiful apartment that I love. I can afford to do many of the things I want to do, though I am starting to feel the crunch of inflation. I notice that as costs rise, I have to spend more, and thus, I’m not saving quite as much money or putting as much towards my retirement accounts. But, I’m very happy in my day-to-day life.
High End Culture
It sometimes feels like there’s a bit of pressure to raise rates or to always have an ultimate end goal of becoming high-end. I really enjoy the type of people I meet at my current rate. They are people I can relate to and people who want to do things that I enjoy. I like that I can be as much myself as I want to share. I do enjoy some luxurious things, don’t get me wrong! But I feel like I can enjoy them authentically where I am at now! I’m open to changing in the future if it feels authentic for me, but I’m happy where I’m at.
Income
Some people believe that charging high rates means making more money, but my experience is that people who are in the mid-range of rates can make the same or more than people in the high end range. For many people, that is by design. People who charge higher rates tend to want to work less often. Of course, there are always outliers, but I think that is the general trend.
And, charging different rates attracts different clients. So, when people raise their rates, they are not only cutting off clients who don’t want to pay that much, but they may be opening themselves up to a different set of clients who do want to pay that much. But, overall, I see charging more as a tool to slow down business while earning a similar or perhaps slightly greater amount of money.
Expertise
Another reason to raise rates is expertise. Anyone with nearly 8 years of experience in another industry would be well on their way to being considered “senior” or at least very experienced. And that’s just as an escort. I have around 10 years of experience as a pro domme, and before that, I was working in the kink realm in other capacities, learning and honing my skills. Overall, I have nearly 15 years of experience in sex work. With kink, the expertise is very tangible – there are physical skills that show my experience. With GFE, the benefits of experience are perhaps slightly less tangible but equally valuable.
What Others Think
Whenever I speak to other sex workers about the potential of raising my rates they always say some version of “Go for it, girl, you’re worth it!” And, it kind of makes me wrinkle my nose though I appreciate the encouragement and I know everyone means well. I know I’m worth whatever I want to charge for any service I offer, be it sex work or something else! But, to me it’s so much more practical than that. It’s economics!
Self Care
When I feel well compensated, it’s really a benefit to my sweethearts. When I am well compensated, I don’t need to worry about affording the self-care needed to keep doing this work in a sustainable way. This work is amazing and I do love it – but it can be somewhat physically demanding and energetically demanding as well. In order to do it sustainably I need to eat well, exercise right, get body work once in a while, go on little trips here and there to regenerate my energy, and get spa/beauty treatments and products to look my best for my sweethearts. All these things cost money, and the costs are rising. Even though I’m not into super spendy products, makeup, skincare, and haircare can be a significant expense.
My Life Outside of Delphine
I generally stay busy with being Delphine. And I am so grateful for that!!
But, I do have interests and things I am working on outside of sex work, and always have. Sometimes, I am so busy with sweethearts, or exhausted from having recently been busy, that it is hard to find the time to do those things, and at those times, I wonder if I would like to have a little more free time.
That is when I think about the potential of raising my rates: when I don’t have the time to study for the class I’ve already committed to, or I can’t find the time to go on a special trip with friends or visit family, or that I want to try a new endeavor but am so exhausted I can’t even find the time to put the first step forward.
TL;DR
So, I guess this is basically a notice that I may or may not raise my rates at some point this year. If and when I do, all clients who have seen me recently will receive some ability to keep their current rate for a while!
