What Is GFE Anyways?
GFE – The Girlfriend Experience. It’s the subject of much debate and a bit of mystery, even with the industry.
Yet, is also quite well-known. Even people who don’t participate in sex work as a provider or a client may have heard the term.
It is often used in the media – there was even a popular TV show about a sex worker called The Girlfriend Experience.
So what is it? To find out we have to take a little trip down memory lane.
RBGFE
RedBook was an escort ad site that was started in 1999 and was closed by the DOJ, the FBI, and the IRS in 2014 for charges of money laundering and racketeering. It was the site for the SF Bay Area and was an important one for SW in the West of the US in general. The site had it’s own definition of GFE, called RBGFE that included a specific set of services.
It’s an unfortunate conundrum. Having codes or acronyms to discuss specific sex acts is convenient. But speaking in a code does not make it more legal.
That site has been gone for nearly 11 years now, but its mark still remains, especially in the Western US. There’s a good amount of people who still follow the definition of RBGFE, especially if they were around during the RedBook days.
Today’s Definition
Now, what is more common is a more general definition of GFE. To many, it now means someone who will act like your girlfriend. Someone who will take it slow, take time for foreplay, who wants to get to know you as part of the experience. People with this definition provide GFE sessions with sensuality and intimacy. These are the providers who will go out to dinner with you and bring you home for dessert, and who will spend time for pillow talk after the action is done.
A post from Reddit from about a year ago asking sex workers for their definition of GFE shows that some people still consider it a set of services, but many consider it a combination of these two definitions.
Unfortunately, there is not one answer to what GFE might mean to a provider. This is one of the ways that criminalization makes things more complicated. It would be much easier and safer if SW could discuss certain things more openly without fear of punishment so everyone’s expectations could be on the same page.
Online Sex Work GFE
To make it even more confusing, there is also a different service called GFE in online sex work, on platforms such as OnlyFans and others. This service typically includes good morning and good night texts, maybe some chats throughout the day, a phone call here and there, and selfies. You know, like chatting with a girlfriend!
What Does GFE Mean To Me?
You know, it’s really quite a conundrum to answer this question. I do have a solid definition, but I never like to put myself in a compromising position when it comes to speaking about what happens behind closed doors. In terms of the girlfriend side of GFE, yes absolutely. I always say that conversation is an important part of our time together. I like to take things slow and relish our time together whether it is for an hour or a day.
What I tell people who ask about specifics beyond that is:
“As you can see from my reviews on PD, my friends have all been very happy with our time together. 😜”
And leave it at that.
