BDSM Talks: Why I Prefer To Be Called Goddess

Every dominant person has their preferences for how they would like to be addressed. Honorifics for dominants range from the common such as Mistress, Ma’am, Sir, Daddy, or Mommy, to more rare and custom options like Lady, Lord, Domina, etc. In my BDSM play, as a dominant, I distinctly prefer to be called Goddess. Why is that? There are several reasons.

Getting Out of Autopilot

First, in my experience, Mistress or Ma’am are the most common honorifics for feminine tops in porn. A lot of guys just do that automatically because that’s what they think they have to do. I like to do things intentionally, in all things but especially in kink. For me, using a different honorific helps me and the submissives I play with to get out of autopilot and into the moment.

I don’t want to just re-enact what someone has seen in a porn movie. I want to create our own scene with our own dynamic, even if it takes inspiration from a porn or a sexy story.

Representing Myself Authentically

Second, Mistress and Ma’am just feel so…formal. Mistress is also the feminine counterpart to master – a term that I do not engage with at all (nor do I engage with the term slave). These words just do not feel natural for me, and when people refer to me as such, it doesn’t feel like me.

In my kink scenes, I am warm, sensual, and present. For me, (and all of this is only about me, not a commentary on what other people do), Mistress or Ma’am do not represent how I feel or act within a BDSM dynamic.

Goddess feels earthy, embodied, and full of awe. I adore being worshipped, and who better to worship than a Goddess? For me, it feels more organic and natural.

Do You Love the Term Mistress?

If calling someone Mistress is an integral part of someone’s fantasy or scene, I might be open to it, but it would be something I’d be doing for them, not for me. But, sometimes that’s great, especially when there are other compelling or enjoyable things about that session.